Difference Between Bereavement, Grief, and Mourning
I’ll be the first to admit that prior to doing my research, I often used bereaving, grieving and mourning interchangeably. Even though I knew they had to have different meanings, I unapologetically used them in the context that felt right to me at the time in which I referenced them. We can basically compare this to other often commonly misused combinations such as affect/effect, insure/ensure, aspire/inspire to name a few. I’ll also be the first to say, I am a frequent violator of these contextual and misidentifying violations. Don’t judge me!
Therefore, I wanted to create the space to clarify the difference so that when we’re expressing important emotions, we understand the distinction to aide in our own healing. When someone we love passes away, words fall short; meaning begins to blur. Although we have the tendency to use bereave, grieve and mourn in the same way, they have their own unique identity.
Bereavement: The State of Loss
Bereave is a timeframe. When someone close to us dies, our employers grant us bereavement; a period of time for us to process the deprivation of someone or something significant. To be bereaved is to live in the space that was created by loss. It’s the presence of absence; having what we once enjoyed, stripped from us permanently.
Grief: The Inner Experience
To grieve is to feel grief. Grief is the internal impact of what happens to us when we lose someone we love. It’s a collection of emotions, thoughts, and inner sensations that accompany that loss. Simply put, grief is deeply personal. It can emerge as sadness, guilt, confusion, or even anger. Believe it or not, grief can even feel like pockets of peace. Grief has no timeline, and no two people express it the same way. Grief is the body’s natural reaction to loss of any kind, not just death. Grief is what I like to call lost love; a passionate emotion with nowhere to go.
Mourning: The Outer Expression
When we mourn, we express sorrow. Mourning is how grief shows up outside of our bodies. They can be shown through the words we speak, rituals we engage in, the tears we release, our silence, and through special acts of remembrance. When we mourn, it’s us expressing our grief out loud, for others to see. Cultural traditions, memorials, and personal gestures all help give grief an identity.
So, if you’re like me and were unaware of the distinct difference between these words, I’m glad to know I wasn’t alone (smile – it’s okay to do so. Let’s not make this heavier than it needs to be!). Understanding the difference between bereave, grief and mourn helps us show compassion for ourselves and others. It distinguishes that bereavement is the space and time of the matter; grief is what we feel internally because of the occurrence and when we mourn it’s our way of healing.
I will never tell you that there’s a right or a wrong way to navigate loss. The best way is your way – which is impacted by moments, memories, and meaning. Through Bereave It to Me, Honey-Hearted Endeavors will honor every part of your journey – the loss, the love and the lessons. We offer practical support while nurturing the space your heart needs to heal. Healing isn’t forgetting; it’s continuing your journey with grace, kindness, and understanding.
